145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor. you can make something much more faster than light: 1. While chatting in the waiting room, one lady said shes sure hers is a boy because she was on the bottom during sex. If you are having a tough time while coming up with your own dirty jokes then we would suggest you to, go through the given dirty mind funny jokes for a good giggle. Then I would bang you on every piece of furniture at my house.What the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?Ive never let a garbanzo bean on my chest.If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?Three feet of my cock up your ass.Congratulations! Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { Sex with me these days is akin to thumbing marshmallows into the anus of a cat.What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common?They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time youre inside them.A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. 14. That was just an insect. Wow, the boy replies. Have a look! How can you tell if your husband is dead? : No. The mega-retailer will be adding to its list of shuttered stores in the coming weeks. It is, indeed. We won 2nd place in a big competition. 25. If circumcision is done poorly and cheaply, what do you call that?-a bloody rip-off, #24. herculoids gloop and gleep sounds A drug dealer cant. Im trying to examine you.I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's. Your email address will not be published. Baby, is it in? Not yet. Does it hurt? A little. Let me push it in slowly. Still hurts? Yeah. Damn, lets try another shoe., #35. A man comes home carrying a bouquet of flowers. #4. Why does a mermaid wear seashells?Because she outgrew her B-shells!How is sex like a game of bridge?If you have a great hand, you dont need a partner.What do you do when your cats dead?Play with the neighbors pussy instead.What has 148 teeth and holding back a monster?My zipper.What is Moby Dicks dads name?Papa Boner.Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A glad-he-ate-her. If your heart is as soft as your boob, then youll find it in your to forgive me. To which the woman replied, if your boomstick is as hard as your elbow, youll find me in room 318., #15. I was trying to keep up with traffic, the guy replied. Your email address will not be published. 1. Considering Frying A Mound OF Bacon And Sprinkling Scrambled Bits From One Egg On Top. Check out these hilarious and totally inappropriate jokes. 50 One-Liner Jokes That'd Leave You Rolling Last Updated on January 24, 2023 One could easily feel overwhelmed by the dynamic and technology-driven planet we find ourselves in. Nicholas who?Knickerless girls shouldnt climb trees.Knock, knock.Whos there?Fuck you said.Fuck you said who?Me!Knock, knock.Whos there?Amos. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. If you are easily offended or require a safe environment, these nasty jokes are not for you! 22. Larry (Larry The Cable Guy): Oh, I can do this all day. That's a huge miscommunication! 6. A naked man broke into a church. What am I?Tweets.What do newly married couples get on their wedding day thats long and sometimes hard?A new last name.Whats the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?The taste.I want to be inside you every day, and you can set me to vibrate for extra fun. #2. A man is enjoying a conversation with friends. A booger is thrown into the air.Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.Ive been taking Viagra for my sunburn. A rip-off. Self-employed, #10. Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything. What did the elephant say to the naked man? Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. Texting short nasty jokes to your partner on occasion might help keep the flame alive in the relationship. Africa How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Your pearly whites. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence. I would like a burger.". Whats the best portion of your body to put into a pie? What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? He becomes instantly apologetic and says, Im so sorry. A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. Are you in need of some dirty minded jokes? I always penetrate with the tip first and I always come with a quiver. Thanks! Why does a mermaid wear seashells?Because she outgrew her B-shells!Your face reminds me of a wrench; every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.What does one boob say to the other boob?If we dont get support, people will think were nuts.Why is sex like math?You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray theres no multiplying.Im not calling you a slut, Im calling you a penny: two faced, worthless, and in everyones pants.Did you hear about the guy who died because he was erect for too long?They couldnt close his casket.What do mice and gay people have in common?They are both enemies of pussies.I wish you were my big toe. And thats what a woman doesnt want to hear while having sex. Busier than a single-armed person attempting to play the guitar. "Because," the doctor says. #3. ", What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Discover these short dirty jokes and get a good chuckle. Of course I do. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. Sometimes people l*ck my nuts. #32. What do bricks and penis have in common? What should you do when your cat dies? We think you will agree with us when we say: A joke is always a bit funnier when it has a dirty side. Check out these dirty minded knock knock jokes that will keep everyone guessing. I personally am on the fence. 12. Of course, a fantastic joke full of snark and sarcasm. But I refused. A man boards a bus with six kids. Australia You should run as fast as you can from these 12 strange animals if you ever encounter them in the wild. Dissolvable relationships. Who am I?A dentist.You play with it at night and it vibrates. If you have to force it, its probably sh*t. Now, we would love nothing more than to hear what you have to share with us. } #26. Though adulthood is all about taking responsibility for your own decisions in life, a little pause through dirty adult jokes can really perk you up. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Monkey type quiz: What kind of monkey are you? Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? "Mother, where do babies come from?". There is no shame in accepting for your bawdy sense of humor and rolling on the floor laughing at R-rated jokes with your buddies. We hope you have enjoyed our picks so far! Funny Jokes Today Jokes Faster than Sayings (A Faster Way To Make You Smile). 9. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. They are both enemies of pussies, #34. A few minutes later. She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. I think youd be Handsomelicious! Faster than Sayings (A Faster Way To Make You Smile), Dating Me Is Like Jokes That Will Make You Smile, Hilarious Fly Jokes That Will Make A Buzz, Comedian Jokes That Will Make You Laugh and Appreciate Them, Perfect Statistics Jokes to Crack in Class, Unicorn Jokes That Will Make Your Little Believer Laugh, Funny Vacuum Jokes That Will Make You Laugh While You Clean, Alligator Jokes You Wont Scare To Laugh At, Funny Jeep Jokes to Keep You Entertained While Off-Roading, Maine Jokes That Are Maine-T to Make You Laugh. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didnt know either.What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?She gagged.Whats a lesbians love language?Speaking in tongue.A dad tells his son Stop masturbating! A master baiter. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Now put the video you have recorded in to your video player. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? On the second day of fishing. Credit: Pixabay / janeb13. 29. Every one of us has probably done something nasty at some point in our lives. An orangutan? It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine.What do you get when you mix human DNA and goat DNA?You get kicked out of the petting zoo.How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?He forgot to wrap his Whopper!Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator?The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it.What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common?Theyre both something we could cheat on.A husband says to his wife, Why dont you tell me when you orgasm?She replies, I dont like calling you when youre at work.I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex.She asked if I was serious, and I said, Nah, Im just fucking with you.Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died?Yeah I heard she was on the freeway and some dick cut her off.My bae told me that s/x is better on vacation.It wasnt the best postcard Ive ever received.How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?By the taste.My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, I shaved my pussy you know what that means?I said, Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again.. If you are naive, you may not understand what to expect from short sexy jokes. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? What do you call a country where everyone is pissed? One of the best dirty one-linerswhat is the difference between ooooooh and aaah Approximately three inches. But I refused. Here-one of the thieves drops the Viagra in the river while running from the police. } 6. Man and his wife are seated, enjoying an afternoon sitcom with a 20-minute episode. (Triathlon joke) Reply . Larry (Larry The Cable Guy): [Jane farts] Ooh, I bet that left a mark. Jesus - he couldn't have been Irish. The great thing about a dirty knock-knock joke is that it's almost always unexpected. If you liked it, dont shy away from sharing. The others a great year.Why are men like diapers?Theyre usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.What do you call a video of two toads having sex?Frogspawn.Whats the difference between anal and oral sex?Oral sex makes your day. 2. 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